Alright, enough of the heavy depressing part. For this week’s Wild Chronicles Series we are onto one of the greatest moments of my life – the phone call!
For those who are still working through infertility or those waiting to be matched, I am not sure I can adequately explain what it will feel like when that phone call comes that someone is interested in making an adoption plan with you. What I can promise is that it is a moment that you will never forget!
In February of 2010, we had pushed aside dreams of a family in order for us to focus on just being a husband and wife. The previous year had brought a couple different significant health issues that I had to deal with and we were just looking for a peaceful period in our life until we could get some footing and figure out what we wanted to do. I had decided to finish up my bachelor’s in nursing in case I decided to go further with my career. I had a few semesters left to do so we figured that would be a perfect amount of time to focus our energy elsewhere.
A week after submitting my application, I was sitting in my best friend’s driveway, getting ready to have lunch. My husband calls me and says he needed to talk to me about something. We talk daily at lunch time, so given his wording, I knew something had happened, but what he was about to tell me was the furthest thing from my mind.
A minister that we knew, through a Christian youth camp we are involved with, called him and asked if we were interested in adopting. A woman had come to his church looking help finding a family for her unborn child. Remember, no more than fifteen minutes earlier, we were not planning on expanding our family at that time, we were going to enjoy a peaceful period before deciding anything further, and I was going back to school.
“Were we interested in adopting?” Yes. No. I mean, yes, but not right now. I mean, well, maybe now. Wait, wasn’t I going back to school and weren’t we putting this family growing business on hold for a year or two? My insides screamed “YES!”, but my logic was dumbfounded by such a drastic change in events.
After discussing it for a couple of days, we decided to go forward with the match. The baby was due in June, but we had no connections with an agency, let alone homestudy done. Our entire lives had just been turned inside out. But, as always, God was right there to provide us the guidance that we needed.
As I mentioned earlier, this all occurred while I was sitting in my best friend’s driveway. The ability to immediately process this information with her was vital to my mental well being. This was certainly another moment in my life where I can honestly say, it was a “God Thing”. I didn’t often go to her house on my lunch break so to be there that day when I was finding out this news could only be described as divine intervention! You see, she not only is my best friend, she also works for a pregnancy crisis center and was able to direct us to the agency she felt worked best with expectant mothers. I can’t say enough about how many times I look back and can undeniably see God’s hand at work!
So how does that moment you get “the call” feel? It’s a confusing mix of terrifying, exhilarating, and shocking. We were finally going to be parents, but in order to get there we were going to have to put ourselves through a petrifying ordeal of falling in love with a child we were not pregnant for and knowing the end could result in crushing heartbreak. And there is absolutely no way around it. If we wanted to be parents, this was the road that lay ahead.
It takes a great deal bravery to go forward with a match. It is one thing when adoption is just a dream, but the gritty details have not been worked out. When reality hits, you have to almost decide all over again that this is the path you really want. It becomes obvious the trials that lay ahead when that phone call happens. But three matches and two children later, I can promise you that it is worth every drop of courage that it takes!
(Up Next: Meeting the Expectant Mother)