First, I want to say thank-you for pausing in your day to read my blog! I am excited to start this new adventure, sharing the ups and downs of being a family grown through adoption after years of walking the infertility road.
My husband and I knew prior to our marriage that fertility might be a challenge to us given my medical history. We spent 3 1/2 years trying to get pregnant before we decided to abandon that route of growing our family, eventually seeking out adoption as a way to fill our home. Three matches and two children later, we have seen both the depths of despair and the peaks of overwhelming joy.
By no means, do I have all of the solutions to the many challenges that this journey entails. I only have my perspective for what it is worth. For those looking for answers, I am hoping that my perception of this road gives you insight. For those in the trenches, still walking the road of infertility, wondering what the other side is like if you choose adoption, my prayer is that this gives you hope. For those searching for the solace of knowing you are not alone on this road, whether it is as an infertile woman or an adoptive family, I pray you find peace. This road has brought me far more questions than answers, but in dialoging it, I am hoping my words are helpful to others who are seeking.
From My Plan To His 
We have two adopted children. Ours were not through open adoption, but through the long legal process required during the years we walked that route. Our 13 year-old had been in a family of seven children and was plenty old enough to remember her biological parents. She did not adjust well to us. Our newborn was never exposed to his biological family, so he bonded just like any newborn would.
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My husband has two adopted brothers that were 5 and 7 when they were adopted and had spent time in the foster system, but both remembered their bio families. The oldest had full reactive attachment disorder and was violent. The younger of the two, who is now 25, vacillates between wanting to be close with his bio family and our family. It is hard for me to imagine the horrors that they go through at such young ages and I can see where attachment would be difficult if you were used to all the disruption. Sorry to hear that about your 13 year old!
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You will notice I have two blogs, both begin with the word Muliebral. I am the same person in both the responses below.
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With that background, it is a wonder you were willing to try the adoption route. Three were no adoptions in my background; however, my father was orphaned at age 5. His baby brother was 18 months old. Both their parents died within three days of each other during the flu epidemic in 1918.
The boys were mostly reared by the aunt I was named for (Daddy’s mother’s youngest sister). She was still living at home with their grandparents and actually never married. Various aunts, uncles and other relatives took my dad when he was old enough to work. He was a valuable farm hand and moved from place to place. He felt no bitterness about it, just commented from time to time that Uncle So-n-So took him to work during the harvest or that such-n-such happened when he was back at his grandparents house. He loved his aunt dearly and I was named for her.
Had there been a broken home or some legal action taken against the parents, my daddy might have had issues too, but he and his brother had a fairly normal home life–just ended suddenly with their parents’ deaths.
If you dig deeper into my blog, search for an article about “Mother’s Mother” and see some comments there about my mother’s three younger siblings being adopted out when their father left the family. That is a pretty tragic story.
Hey, I said there were no adoptions in my family and I guess I was wrong, but for some reason we never thought about it like that.
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