I do not think it is a stretch to believe that all of us who walked the infertility road have been on the receiving end of some not so helpful comments or advice. A friend of mine texted me the other day because she is in the midst of difficulty getting pregnant and needed to vent some frustrations about the things people say. There are some contributing factors so she posted a question on a forum and got some unwelcome comments.
“Just don’t try!”
Her personal favorite was “I was not even trying and got pregnant!”
I reassured her that most people are not trying to say hurtful things. They just don’t understand what it is like.
It gave me flashbacks of when we were trying to conceive and were on our fair share of unwanted advice. Some variation of “Just relax!” was the most common, but there were also things like jokes about us not understanding how the birds and the bees work.
My personal favorite was a lady who knew some about our difficulties and came up to me four months after my hysterectomy and rather rudely said, “Did they fix you yet so you can have them babies?” The vast majority of the time I feel sorry for people when they realize the ignorance of their comment, but this one instance I took slight joy in watching the color drain out of her face when I replied that I’d had a hysterectomy.
This got me thinking that for this week’s Monday Morning Conversation it might be interesting to hear some of the comments you have had the “privilege” to hear. How did you respond? Was there anything that was truly helpful?