Better Late Than Never

With the legislative red tape in our rearview mirror, we were down to the last hurdles: waiting for both the triplets to be safely delivered and Little-Flower to make her appearance. In writing this post the flashbacks of the level of anxiety that enveloped our life during this timeframe are almost suffocating even today after I already know how it would all turn out.

We were equally eager for Little-Flower to be born and the triplets stay put until the pregnancy was far enough along for the triplets to be healthy. Ideally, we wanted Little-Flower to make her arrival first so we would have time to adjust to life with a newborn or space to grieve a late-term adoption loss before the triplets came.

Little-Flower had plans of her own. She was going to stay nestled in her warm little cocoon until she was served an eviction notice. And, even then, she still had no intent on being born.

Starting two weeks before her due date, we carried our phones everywhere praying for God’s mercy, allowing her to come sooner rather than later. We were beyond ready to know the final outcome. The two weeks passed in silence. The day before the due date for the triplets and Little-Flower, the triplets made their debut.

It was impossibly hard to have them arrive and still not know the final status of our situation. On one hand, I was happy for my brother and sister-in-law. The triplets had arrived with no threat of long-term health issues. On the other hand holding them made my heart ache, not knowing if I would soon be holding a newborn of our own or grieving her loss. I wanted to experience the unhindered joy and excitement that their birth deserved but I was too scared about the outcome of our own.

The arrival of the triplets did give us a bit of a distraction while waiting for Little-Flower. But, even with that, the days began to drag into passing hour by hour. It was excruciating.

On her due date the expectant mom updated us that if she was not born in the next week the plan was to induce her. It was nice having a concrete plan in place, but the thought of waiting yet another week was almost unbearable. The time crawled by in continued silence.

The date for the induction arrived. Finally, we would get to meet the baby girl who would possibly become our daughter! We arrived at the hospital first thing in the morning, eager to meet her. The plan was that I would stay in the room with the expectant mom and hubby would stay in the waiting room.

Over the course of the pregnancy we had met up with both the expectant mom and her mom several times. We had developed a nice rapport over the months. I looked forward to more time to strengthen our bond. Conversation flowed easily as we waited for the medication to kick in and start the labor process. The expectant mom’s extended family came and went. We were able to put faces to all of the family we had heard about.

The medication used for the induction was increased incrementally according to schedule. Little-Flower had her own plans though. We should have known then that we might be in trouble. Hours passed with no progression of labor.

Twelve hours into the process she had only dilated about 2 cm. Despite our eagerness, it became obvious that Little-Flower would not be joining us that day. The doctors decided to stop the induction, let the expectant mom rest and restart the process in the morning. Obviously, it was not the outcome we were hoping for! Another day would pass by with our future in limbo!

Next week: The Arrival!

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