The message of “You Are Not Alone” is a great theme for this year’s National Infertility Awareness Week. The isolation that infertility can leave behind can be overwhelming and it is imperative to know that we are not alone in this fight. While the goal of the message helps bring us together to support each other, I cannot do the idea justice by not offering a different reminder. You could be the only couple left on this earth, struggle with infertility and still not be alone. God is always there with you.
I remember well how distant God felt when we were in the midst of the monthly reminders of failure. Over and over I would plead with God to let that month finally be the one where our dreams would come true. Each month I received an unmistakable answer of, “NO!”
Eventually, I reached a point where I stopped praying about it altogether. If God was going to do what he wanted in my life regardless of my dreams, I felt like there was no point in prayer anymore. It was not going to change anything.
A couple of Sundays ago our class watched a video by Louie Giglio in which he compares the Earth in relation to the Sun and other stars in our universe. (If you have the time I would highly recommend watching the video! You can also find a transcript of his message here.) It left me feeling so small in the vastness of all that our God has created. Yet, I could not help but remember Matthew 10:29-31.
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Matthew uses the example of a sparrow, one of the smallest birds on a planet that is so tiny in the vastness of all God created. “Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.” God cares deeply for his creation. That includes you!
In all of creation, I sometimes feel so small and insignificant. My problems seem trivial and not worth God’s consideration. Or, that is what Satan would like me to believe. Any sliver of separation from my creator is just that much more of a victory for the father of lies.
The pain and agony that you are feeling on this journey through infertility is not lost in God’s sight. He sees you and is hurting alongside you. I know that it is difficult to comprehend why he would sit beside you and not step in and end this pain. Please know that there is more to the story than what your finite human mind can understand.
I have no idea what God has in store for your journey. I would love to say that you will eventually be given the desires of your heart, but those would be only empty words. I do not know if children await you. What I do know is God is preparing you for something.
Like a two year old throwing a tantrum, I wanted my way and I wanted it now. I had no room in my life for my heavenly Father to explain to me that I would need to wait or why. I did not care what was actually good for me. I wanted to be pregnant now. In my tantrum, I finally resorted to the silent treatment. If God was not going to give me what I wanted then I saw no point in continuing to communicate with him.
Even in all of that my heavenly Father sat alongside me, patiently waiting for me to mature enough to start to grasp why I could not have my way. He never left me for a moment. I was never alone.
Neither are you!
Satan wants to separate you from God any way he can. The agony of infertility can leave us spiritually weakened. If the devil can sway your emotions into believing that you are walking this journey alone, he is that much closer to a victory. Do not believe his lie for a moment. If you feel yourself being pulled in that direction run, quite literally, for your life.
When the storm of infertility is throwing you back and forth, keeping the knowledge that God is present with you at the forefront of your mind takes deliberate work. Open your Bible and seek comfort in its words. Pray, even when it feels pointless. For me, the hardest of it all was to remember that we are not on Earth for our own purpose. God has a purpose for each one of us. Opening my heart to accepting his will for my life went a tremendous way in healing my relationship with God.
As the National Infertility Awareness Week reminds us “You are not alone!” Yes, there are sisters walking alongside you, but more importantly God is right beside you as well.
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