Meeting the Expectant Mother

On this week’s Wednesday’s Wild Chronicles, we move onto meeting the expectant mother. After the rush of the initial phone call was over, reality set in. There was a woman that was considering us to raise the child she was carrying. It started out that this was going to be a private adoption with just a lawyer, no agency, so we had to take care of the legwork of meeting up with her and getting to know each other.

Making that first phone call to her was one of the most awkward things I have ever done. Seriously, what do you say in a situation like that? “Hi, we are the couple that is really hoping to parent your child. How has your day been?” I could start with a simple “How are you?”, but given she was in a position where she was considering have another couple raise her baby; I am going to take a guess that things were not going well in her life. There are no normal conversation starters that apply in a situation like this. We exchanged pleasantries, and agreed to meet up the following Saturday, get to know each other a little better and then make sure we were mutually comfortable going forward with the plan.

About the only thing I have ever been able to use to explain what it is like meeting an expectant mother for the first time is the analogy of a blind date. Except instead of a guy, where literally there are millions of fish in the sea, you are meeting the incredibly rare type of woman who is willing to place her child into your care, fulfilling what has probably been years of dreams. And, then take whatever emotions that description brings to your mind and multiply it by about 1,000. Yeah, it’s something like that.

As she had no transportation, we picked her up and went to Applebee’s. I am sure I ate something in an effort to appear somewhat contained about the whole situation, but I pretty much sat there the whole time trying not to cry – tears of sadness for her situation, tears of joy that we were so close to our dreams and tears of fear of any further heartbreak.

Her situation was that she had five other children, all of whom were in the foster care system. She was essentially homeless, living day by day sleeping on the couches of various friends’ homes. The biological father of this baby had been deported and would not be involved in the child’s life. She did not want this baby to endure the foster system, so she felt it was best if she could make an adoption plan instead. To us, it sounded very reasonable and seemed like a legitimate adoption opportunity.

The thing I remember most of that first meeting though, was the ultrasound pictures she brought us. It was a boy. I was laying my eyes on possibly my son. I do not know how to explain it, I never carried him inside me, but from the moment I saw him, I loved him. I knew it was risky, but I could not stop the love from welling up within.

Step one, meeting the expectant mother – done. Onto preparing to bring out son home!

(Up Next: The Homestudy)

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