Keeping your marriage relationship at the center of importance during the rollercoaster of infertility treatments can feel nearly impossible at times. Husbands and wives differ on how they process the grief that accompanies infertility. Dreams for future children may vary in size of the family, the intensity of wanting children and/or accepting adoption as a viable option. Moral standards for what one spouse feels comfortable pursuing in treatment may not be the same as the other. Sex is no longer an act of intimacy, but a perfectly timed means to an end. Throw in some fertility medication which can make a woman much more emotional than normal and we have a recipe for disaster.
Keeping a marriage on track during the stresses that infertility presents takes deliberate action. Each partner has to be committed fully to protecting the marriage. Being successful in adding a child to your family at the expense of your marriage benefits no one.
Hubby and I were among the lucky ones who knew before getting married that we would most likely struggle with infertility. We also had a strong friendship in place before we even started dating which proved invaluable navigating the infertility road. Even with those advantages, we had to make a conscious choice that our marriage would take precedent over the obstacles that laid before us.
I am going to be starting a series that will feature on Mondays entitled “Marriage Matters” to encourage couples along the journey. Some posts will be from personal experience where I will relay what has been helpful for us. Some posts will be more scientific in nature. My hope is that it will give you and your spouse a weekly boost as you walk this road in pursuit of a child.