Sometimes in the busyness of completing the tasks of motherhood the big picture gets lost. Another diaper change, another meal to fight to get the kids to eat, etc. The ins and outs of everyday can get tiresome and tedious. Rarely, do I take the time to step back and see my life in its entirety.
This morning I was updating the pictures that hang throughout our house. (Thank-you Katie Buehler Photography for your excellent work!!) When it was complete, I stepped back from the large frame that is a collage. Emotion welled at the snapshots of OUR everyday life.
One would think after being a mother for nearly five years it would have finally sunk in that everything I dreamed of as a little girl, I am living out today. My career dream was to be a wife and a mother. I am happily married to my best friend and mothering two amazing little lives. It might be difficult and exhausting, but it is everything I ever wanted.
Staring at that frame this morning it struck me as to how blessed I really am. Those snapshots of giggles and intimate moments between us just shout of the love we share and the joy we have together.
Looking back, it is hard to remember a time before Turkey-Man joined our lives. I remember them being difficult, but when he was born, I knew I would have done twice the amount of pain had I known what was waiting for me in the end.
Infertility almost dictates life being looked at month by month. The intensity of the roller coaster ride makes it difficult to see much else in life. I could dream of what it would feel like to find out I was pregnant, but conceptualizing what life would be like with a nearly five year old and two year old was impossible.
This morning I sat and worked with Turkey-Man on reading. We did a simple math problem. Little-Flower snuggled up against me. Yes, I had to tell them many times to sit at the table and eat, to settle down, to stop touching things, etc. but those are the tasks that distract me from the big picture.
I sat with my son and taught him. I sat with my daughter and snuggled. We exchanged love and adoration. I am a mother. My need to nurture is so fulfilled it is spilling over. Sometimes it is still hard to believe that this is my life.
We set aside November as a month to focus on thankfulness. Stepping back and looking at that collage, gratitude fills my soul. I am amazed at what God has entrusted me with. I bow my head and humbly express my thanksgiving to him. I have been given something that there is no price tag for, no tangible cost. It is a gift I can never repay.
I sit back so content, with my dreams fulfilled. Quite literally, “Thank-you God for all that you have done!”